I never considered myself to be a very strong person. Ya, I was dumb enough to do some things people would say was brave, I never really thought much about it. Not until the day my world came crashing in on me.I lost my only daughter. I wasn't much of a mother to her as she grew up, but, we were trying to make up for that, and rebuild our relationship. Then, one day, she was gone...........forever. How do you survive something  like this?How do you go on?

  Personally, I didn't care if I went on or not. The one problem with that was Taras little brother. An eight year old, who didn't know much of what was going on, but did say what his sister did was stupid. How could he understand what had happened. I am sure, those next few days, he wondered why I didn't play with him, pay much attention  to him. I don't remember alot of those following days.........but that my boy never cried.

I realized, he needed me as much as I needed him. He didn't open up, but I needed to be strong, for him, so, IF he wanted to open up, I could be strong for him. In ten years, I have waited for him, being there for him, trying to do the things that would help him get through this time of year.

 I guess that is what being strong is, I don't know.I don't feel strong. I feel like laying down and dying most days, but I know I can't. My son may be 18 now, but he still has never cried, so I will be there, for him.

So I guess, my legacy, given to me by my dear baby girl, is strength, the strength to protect her baby brother as best I can, better then I protected her.